Praying with Drums

This morning, I woke to the sound of drums, and knew immediately that it was James. For two weeks now, James has asked the village staff if he could borrow the late Dr. Sebi's drums. So this felt like a long time come coming, since one day can easily feel like one week, especially if you're experiencing 10/10 pain during some moments of the day.

It was the most in-body/ with Spirit i've seen James in a while. Prior to oral cancer, James was one of the most energetic, positive, and giving human beings i had ever met. He still is, just with 10/10 pain. Anyone who has ever experienced physical pain, to any degree, knows that positivity and kindness can easily slip out the back door. Although through my observation, James has not lost touch of Spirit, his presence has definitely wilted. So, hearing, seeing, feeling, James drum this morning was incredibly uplifting. 

James also spoke about how drumming is prayer to him. When i came back to check him in the afternoon to get some video diary time in, i asked him if he wanted to bring the drums. My ama documenter self wanted to get some shots of him playing. He gave me a solid "no" and because they weren't "calling" him. Drumming is a sacred activity. Got it. 

Additionally, witnessing James and Megumi playing together was heartwarming. Megumi has been incredibly supportive, patient, and present. She's the one making sure everyone has what they need, understands the logistics, and sees the details. To see them engaging in something enjoyable and loose like that reverberated my affection for them. 

During the rest of my time here, i hope to see more people join in/enjoy James' drumming. Playing with him today, i almost cried... the connection of my heartbeat with the rhythm, the trust in my spirit to guide my hands, the dedication of the whole self to be present... an activity of fun that him and i shared. i held down the beat as he wove in and out, creating one and dynamic. We played for what felt like 30 minutes, although i think it was somewhere between 5 and 10. A form of meditation for sure. 

Drumming today continued to affirm the healing power of music. Whether that be through our own individual, solitary enjoyment, or in union with others. To make sounds that resonate with our deepest selves. To play with devotion. Yes, this is healing. 

Below are screen shots from the video recording of the drumming/prayer in the morning. 

5 Days into this Purpose

5 days into this purpose (including the day of traveling). Here i am, sitting at this desk, in my own hut, doing my best to find the best way to open this blog.

Truth is, i'm not sure what this whole journey means, and i suppose that's the nature of adventure and life, we never know what it "means" until it has passed. And even then, finding "meaning" can keep us from being completely free in the experience.

i'll start with my purpose here at Usha Village in a town called La Cieba, in Honduras. My good friend James was diagnosed with stage 4 oral cancer a couple weeks ago. i listened to my intuition to come along and document his process. i co-manifested with the Universe and my community back home and here i am. 

It was far from easy manifesting this trip. Renegotiating my position at work, changing the schedule of a yoga/life coaching program i'm leading with my best friend, raising $1500, super expediting my passport, car breaking down, doubt and criticism, emotional breakdowns, the anxiety of stepping into my potential. All of this resistance happened for to reaffirm the necessity to come and support my friend, learn about healing, and create art out of it all.

5 days into this purpose. It has been so much more than i could have imagined. This is just the first post so i will leave it at that, for now. 

A row of colorful huts in which guests stay. Each guest has their own, including a bathroom with a shower. This stream that runs through the middle is the healing alkaline water flowing down from the hot spring at the top of the mountains. 

Here i set up a chair by the window in my room. Waiting for James to do his daily video diary, i appreciated the simple beauty and grace of this image. The perfect blank canvas. 

i would later start with the question, "what would you like to talk about today?" 

"truth is a ruthless bastard" 

- James Tolliver 2/11/17